


You Can Buy Anything For The Right Price

by wintergrey



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Gen, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-08-08 09:39:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7752544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintergrey/pseuds/wintergrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We got to talking about favourite tropes and this is still one of my top faves, maybe THE top fave.</p>
<p>What it says on the tin: Accidental Baby Acquisition (feat. Poe Dameron, Rey, and Finn)</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Can Buy Anything For The Right Price

"Rey, you can't keep that," Finn whispered. "You really can't keep it in here."

"Where else am I going to put it? You're not helping, Finn." Rey was exasperated and a little panicky.

"You went out for parts for the Falcon and got...that?" Finn sounded horrified.

"What was I supposed to do?" Rey hissed. "Not buy it?"

"You bought it?" Finn's voice hit the next octave.

"Hey, kids." Poe finally let them know he was standing in the doorway. Rey hastily zipped up the bag she was holding open for Finn and put it behind her back as she stepped around his wheelchair, putting him between her and Poe. "Whatcha got?"

"Nothing." Rey's eyes were as wide as saucers.

"I see. Nothing." Nothing was making a few angry noises in the bag.

"Yeah, nothing," Finn added, without a hint of credibility.

"I really need to teach you two how to lie better. At least to me. You’re terrible at this." Poe let the door to Finn's recovery room slide shut. "Just tell me that's not a very small saarlac."

"It's not," Rey said hastily. That was the truth.

"Rey bought a baby," Finn blurted out. "She was supposed to be buying deprecated relay junctions on the black market and now she has a baby and no junctions."

"I'm keeping it," Rey snapped at him.

"Of course you're keeping it." Finn wheeled around to look at her. "But not in here! They'll find it."

"Guys." Poe ran a hand over his face. "First. Take the baby out of the bag, Rey. I know Jakku was rough but, here, we don’t put the baby in the bag. Second. Let's go see the General."

Rey put the bag in Finn’s lap and started to undo the zipper, eying Poe warily. “I’m keeping it,” she said again. “It’s mine.”

“Technically, if you bought it with the credits the General gave you to work on the Falcon, it belongs to the Rebellion.” Poe came over to peek in the bag. An olive-skinned, brown-eyed baby with tight black curls stared up at him wide-eyed, none the worse for wear. “I think we could use a baby about now. Well done, Rey.”

“We…could use a baby?” Finn looked baffled.

Rey allowed Poe to pick the baby up but she had a rancor’s gleam in her eye that said he’d better watch himself.

“Yeah. They’re very useful. Good for morale.” The baby seemed well enough, smelled terrible, needed a diaper and wrappings someone hadn’t dragged out of the trash heap. It burbled, then craned to look for Rey before waving a spittle-soggy fist at her. “I’m sure the General will let you keep it, Rey. Much better deal than some old junctions.” Poe couldn’t help cooing at it for the few seconds before Rey all but snatched it out of his hands.

“I think it’s hungry.” Rey snuggled it close. “It needs milk. I thought I could get something around here. They give Finn all kinds of nutritional stuff.”

“It needs a name,” Finn said firmly, leaning up to get a better look at it.

“It needs a bath.” Poe gestured toward the door. “Let’s go, family. Time to tell the General about her new recruit. I’m sure there’s a baby bottle somewhere on this planet.”


End file.
